The Art Of War

Sometimes, people need a mistake to wake them up, and in Idol’s case, 2 mistakes perhaps?(hopefully).

I am not a fan of Pia since she took the last bus to dull-ville sometime back, but I never expected her to be out of the game, THIS soon. In fact, I was still rooting for her to be in the final two, with beloved James, until Scotty fever grew on me. Having said that, when they put her in the bottom three with Stefano & Jacob, I thought we would see the last of Stefano, until Pia was called instead. I was shocked, but not surprised!

In the history of Idols, plus other similar reality shows, results like these, dubbed as mistakes, are really not that strange. Every contestant has their own fan base. In fact, the real battle here are between the fans who voted, and not the contestants, per say.

So, Pia, is now, voted off, everyone is talking about the shocking elimination, and perhaps, finding faults, but what can we say, really? She just didn’t get enough votes, there could be people who didn’t vote for her, thinking that others would, but no one really knew, until the results were released.

After Casey, does America need another mistake to wake them up? Do they? And is this a mistake after all? No one is new to this game. We all know, a reality and popularity competition like AI, needs more than a good vocal to get to the finals, we call that “a strong fan base”. A big group of people who won’t bother about the rest, but just keep voting for their favourites, and these are the people who will eventually decide, who will be in the top two. These are the people who will eventually buy the new idol’s records, and support them all the way! In the end, that’s all that matters, isn’t it?

So, to fans of Scotty, James, Jacob, Lauren, Hailey, Stefano, Paul & Casey, who is Pia to them? She is just a competitor, and she needs to get LOST! Sorry, but that is a fact. And although we see her as an Idol material, to the fans of others, she is a threat. This is not merely a singing competition, but a popularity game, and the one with the bigger support group, can call the shot! This is the art of war, AI’s very own, art of war! And that has always been the rule!

My only hope now is, to have James & Scotty in the final two. It will be a battle between country & rock. And if both of them play their cards right, in places where it counts, they could end up being there, BATTLING it out!

I can’t help thinking whether the judges regretted using their save vote on Casey, and whether they would have used their save vote, if they knew, Pia would be eliminated this week?

AI, I don’t mind you driving me nuts, just don’t drive me mad.

Eleven Minus Two?

I am not a fan of Elton John, however I must say, he is an incredible artist, legendary in his own rights. His music has never been my cup of tea so I was not that thrilled about this week’s theme. But after seeing the top 11 performed last night, it was kind of refreshing to hear how some of Elton’s numbers were given new arrangements. I liked what I heard, although some went a little bit too far.

The whole “Casey” elimination drama should never have been played that much. Ryan, should really tone it down a bit, as it adds too much of salt to an already salty pie. Having said that, I am really hoping that no such surprises will take place this week.

I am going to be honest; I am a “bias” person. I only look forward to my favorites and that means, I listen to probably just few seconds of each contestants, not in “my list”, unless I find something interesting and encourage me for a longer stay. This is a singing competition, everyone can sing on this show, but the whole idea is to find that “someone” who stands out, not just vocally, but in PERSON! The glamorous word for it is perhaps the X-Factor. It’s that unknown reason that drives you to keep wanting more from an artist, and you don’t even know what it is. There’s a combination of suspense, and other elements that draws you more to the performance & the overall show. An AI is actually a stage to look for the “next to be” and not “someone who is already there”, cause it pays more to be “one of a kind” rather than “a similar kind”.

So, what happened last night?
1. Scottie
Scottie… Scottie ..Scottie, he is perhaps the only contestant, who looks so comfortable week in and out, singing country, pretty safe in his comfort zone. And last night, he showed a side of him that I’ve never seen. Like what Randy says, he’s seasoned so fast, yes, and he sinked in to it like a pro. Although he is not versatile, what the heck, who wouldn’t want to keep him in the show?

2. Naima
Although I appreciate her effort to give a different kind of twist to the song, the results to me, were both weird, and disrespectful. She didn’t do any justice to the song.

3. Paul
Ok, to be fair, Paul is an interesting star to be. He is original and his voice is unique. You can only like or hate this kind of talent. Unfortunately, I am just not a fan.

4. Pia
She can nail any ballads. She has proven that week in and week out. But there’s something about her that I find pretty disturbing. She came out strong in the first week, but later on, she decided to take a road trip to dull-ville, without looking back. I am just bored. How odd is that, cause she is so pretty, and sings like Celine, maybe that’s what it is, we already have Celine Dion!

5. Thia
She is just too “plain” for this year’s group of talents. Not strong enough.

6. Stefano
Too bad, I was really hoping he would redeem himself, to me, the performance last night, was not it.

7. Casey
I hated the drama, but I must say, he did well to prove he deserved to be there

8. Jacob
He gives me the impression, that he loves exaggeration. Sometimes, being less is better.

9. Hailey
She probably did her best last night, but I won’t call it the best of the night. Problem I have with Hailey is, she is forgettable. Up to last night, she was really playing it safe. I don’t know. Even after seeing her last night, I find her shifting from “forgettable” to trying way too hard :(

10. Lauren
I liked her. Better than Pia. I hope she will stay.

11. James
He is the guy I have been “rooting for”, to win this season. And after my huge disappointment with Adam, I hope America won’t let me down this time. However, last night’s show to me was way too crazy. It’s probably different being among a live audience, but watching from home, with the whole fire thingy.. gees.. a little bit too much for my taste. Anyhow, I wish he would take on something slower, perhaps a ballad, to show us another side of him that we have not seen. I think, if he does that, with the right number, he could secure his spot in the final two.

I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about the masses of sardines, fishes of all kinds surfacing in the island of Mexico. I have a bad feeling about it, a really bad one. Well, Mother Nature is “mad”, we just hope she is forgiving enough, for now.

With these strange thoughts and worries in my mind, I hope to see, Naima & Hailey go.
But I think, Stefano & Thia or even Paul may be sent home.

My Korean Drama fever is BACK, for GOOD!

I won’t say I got hit bad, but bad enough to give “me” a mild fever! That to “me” is a big “breakthrough” cause I am sort of Korean drama vaccinated, having seen so many of its kind, nothing could flatter me much. And as I was not desperately looking, something came knocking on my door. And who is the CULPRIT? It’s the cute, and refreshing, tale of My Girlfriend is a Gumiho, also fondly known as my Girlfriend is a Nine Tailed Fox!

I started watching this drama out of curiosity, and also because it was the first thing that came on, when I tuned in to Astro One HD, after swapping my Astro Max. This whole swapping thing has been on our neck for the last couple of months, and so, the new decoder and whatever came with it, didn’t come by with a friendly tone as it was packaged with months of annoying phone calls & reminder notes from the Astro service centre. My ex-boyfriend, hubby, sworn other half & I, were both skeptical about the new service, almost in denial, and we really hate to confirm that it was a different kind of viewing experience after all, which was better but again costlier. Well, having said that, if you live in an entertainment deprived town like we do, any price may sound reasonable, although ridiculously crazy to others.

I’ve been “somewhat” glued to Star World lately, and AmericanIdol.net, on performances, news and recaps of the American Idol this season. Although, nothing hit me as bad as Adam-nami, this season does send some chills down my spine. Thank God, I needed that.

Now, back to the “Miho” who has “Gu” tails and swept my heart away, it is a South Korean romantic 16 episode series broadcasted by SBS last year, with Lee Seung Gi & Shin Min Ah, as the main leads. Now, I have not seen Brilliant Legacy, but I have actually seen Seung Gi in 1 Night Two Days when it first showed on KBS World. And I also didn’t know that Seung Gi is a singer with many albums to his name. Similarly, I have heard of Shin Min Ah, but I have not actually seen many of her stuffs, so I was not that “turned on” when the drama made its debut in 2010. But again, I was a bit lost last year. After my hyper loud Korean looking Christi Ann is born, fears occupied my mind, many months before my lasik surgery in October, before excitement and anticipation, again kicked in due to our year end Korea Trip. My sister and I was hoping we could see Lee Min Ho, but sadly, we saw many Lee Min Ho wanna be’s instead :(

From the same writers of My Girl, My Delightful Girl Chun Yang & He is Beautiful, it was all “sweet” when I started to pick up the drama between Cha Dae Wong & Miho in episode 6, four weeks ago. I am now, down to episode 12, and somehow am still stuck there, debating on whether I should end something so nice, so soon.. this soon?

Now, for a quick run-through, the story is about Seung Gi, or Dae Wong, who accidentally released a legendary nine tailed fox that was trapped in a painting. There were a lot of funny, touchy and unpredictable scenes entails right after. But the whole catch is when the two main leads, fell in love, when in a way, they were not supposed to. The fox, needed 100 days to become human. And Seung Gi, needed her magic fox bead to stay “fit” and miraculously strong for his action flicked movie! I know, how can something that sounds so supernaturally insane be so entertaining? It IS!

So, without even finishing this “crazy” and addictive drama, I would like to put it on my highly recommended list! Because of the plot, and the storyline itself, it deserves more than a two thumbs up!

So Dae Wong & Mi Ho.. ah..,please don’t ruin my ending. And did I mention the male supporting lead is “deliciously” yummy????

This is what good TV is all about!

American Idol: Top Ten Results Show!

When more than that, is a CROWD!

The Motown week was good for everyone. That’s what I read in the reviews cause, I was only interested to see my favourite contestants performed! Having said that, I was surprised to see Thia, Stefano & Casey in the bottom three. Thia? Well, yes, the girl is boring, she is so boring that I wanted to shut off the TV when its her turn to sing, and its such a waste cause she has the looks, and she has the “voice” but she just lack personality and “emotion” that again, comes with age & experience, so I wasn’t feeling it. But I thought, she had some great support from her young fans! Stefano, is to me, a man version of Pia, and like what I said earlier, could be the under dog for this season, and Casey, he is like, the judges “pet puppy” this season. I was surprised to find out that Haley & Naima, were not even in the bottom three, and how in the end, Casey was called out to sing that last note, to convince the judges, he deserves to stay.

Put it this way, I have nothing against Casey. He is talented, no doubt. And although I don’t like his beard, I find him pretty unique, and the man is damn good with musical instruments. But using the only save vote for the session to keep him, at this early stage of the competition, isn’t that a WASTE?


This week, we get to keep the judges favourite, however next week, two will have to vacant their seats! I hope we will not see some of our favourites leave!

My top four
1. James Durbin
2. Pia
3. Scotty
4. Stefano

I would like to see James & Pia, battling it out in the Finals and James taking the Crown with him.

Anything could happen in the World of the Idols, hope I won’t be too surprise next week!

So Who Sailed Through?

Results show, came quick but not easy. It was a little bit draggy, but again, that’s like the “trademark” of AI, apart from it being a singing competition, the “dramatic” element has to be there.

In the end, the final 13 contestants were decided, and what do I think?

For the boys,
Most of my prediction came true, a little sad to see Brett & Robbie gone. But hey, you guys can always try your luck with Simon’s show, and that, to me, would be a much bigger challenge! And since James is really growing on me, thanks to the “Adam’s” factor, was really happy to see that his good pal made it through, and I must say, Stefano is one to look out for too. Dark horse, you’ll never know!

For the girls,
What can I say, a little surprised that Julie didn’t make it. Not because she stood out during her performance, but she was really one of the judges favorite, especially J.Lo since the start. Sad, she did not even make it for the wild card round. That’s a huge price to pay for choosing the wrong song!

Having said all that, many would probably agree that the show would be more exciting than last season’s AI.

So, would I be looking forward to it, yes. Would I tune in, yes. Would I sit through the show till the end, maybe. Will there be an “Adam Lambert” for me, don’t count on it!

Happy weekend everyone!

Will there be a "Kelly" or a "Carrie" this Year?

There was a rumor that AI is “desperately” looking for a woman in this year’s competition, and the way, some of the front runners were given more airtime compared to the rest probably did shed some “light” into the hype. And if this, at all make any sense, the competition is no longer just about the 12 female finalists, but it would be a competition among last female winners as well. We have seen how Kelly & Carrie made it right to the top, will there be “one” in this year’s American Idol? And if there is one, will she take the “crown” and most importantly, can she make it as big as Kelly & Carrie?

I didn’t have the privilege to watch the prime time show on Astro, as something way more important was planned for last night. It was my princess one year old birthday dinner. There was a full 8 meal course, with dessert and a two KG cake waiting, and I had to leave, putting my Astro Max on standby for the recording.

And after, consuming more calories that I could take, we came home, exhausted. I tuned in to channel 999, and played the recorded AI, hoping I could sit through it. I don’t know what it was, but I did not give the show its equal share of attention, as I fast forwarded many performances after just 5 seconds of hearing each performance. And this is what; the 35 year old me, heard last night,

Ashton Jones
My say: Stage presence, yes. Strong vocals, yes. Likeability, not bad
Song Choice: Are you kidding me?
Verdict: We already have Fantasia, could she be better? Otherwise, what’s the point?

Haley Reinhart
My say: Stage presence, no. Strong vocals, yes. Likeability, neutral
Song choice: Are you kidding me?
Verdict: Forgettable

Julie Gorilla
My say: Stage presence, yes. Strong vocals, yes (if based on Hollywood week), Likeability, almost addictive
Song Choice: Are you kidding me?
Verdict: She will be safe

Karen Rodriguez
My say: Stage presence, yes. Strong vocals, yes, Likeability, not bad
Song Choice: Are you kidding me?
Verdict: Could have done better

Kendra Chantelle
My say: Stage presence, weak. Strong vocals, yes (if based on Hollywood week), Likeability, neutral
Song Choice: Are you kidding me
Verdict: She blew her chance

Lauren Alaina
My say: Stage presence, yes. Strong vocals, yes, Likeability: yes, (if they don’t play too much of the stevie card)
Song Choice: Are you kidding me
Verdict: She will sail through

Lauren Turner
My say: Stage presence, which one again?, Strong vocals, can’t remember, Likeability, which one again?
Song choice: Duh… which one again?
Verdict: Does it matter?

Naima Adedapo
My say: Stage presence, yes, Strong vocals, yes. Likeability, yes
Song Choice: Are you kidding me?
Verdict: May not be the first choice

Pia Toscano
My say: Stage presence, yes, Strong vocals, yes. Likeability, Yes
Song Choice: Smart
Verdict: She is known as a pretty face to me, but last night, she proved that she’s in to win, she was the best out of the bunch!

Rachel Zevita
My say: Stage presence, yes, Strong vocals, lukewarm, Likeability, Yes
Song Choice: Not my cup of tea
Verdict: The fact that she’s been “trying out” in the previous idols, yet, not hitting the jackpot, and how Ryan kept bringing that up, might not really help her here!

Ta-Tynisa Wilson
My say: Stage presence, zzzzzzzz, Strong vocals,zzzzzzzz, Likeability, zzzzzzzz
Song Choice: Oh my God!
Verdict: Nothing personal, but shoot me, if she’s in

Thia Megia
My say: Stage presence, yes, Strong vocals, yes, Likeability, yes
Song Choice: The smartest of the bunch
Verdict: Shoot me, if she’s not in!

Perhaps, I am harder on the girls, but hey, we are looking for the next Kelly or Carrie, big act to follow!

So, I am going to cut this short. My prediction for the Top Five
Pia Toscano
Thia Megia
Lauren Alaina
Julie Zorrilla
Ashton Jones

Results show, tonight! Am I excited, no. Will I tune in, yes. Will I bitch about it tomorrow, we’ll see!

Reality Shows Fever!

I remember, swearing to myself that I would not tune in to AI since Adam lost the crown. I mean, people just “literally” took away the crown from him, he was the clear winner and they robbed it off him, just because of the “gay” issue? I was devastated as I followed his performance since audition day, and his star quality was just undeniable. And his performances on AI stage, were indeed way too good, he was indeed in his own class. There could never be another Adam Lambert, period!

Last year, when AI called for more talents to come by, I tuned in, only to savior the last few moments of seeing Simon Cowell on AI. Let’s face it, I somehow find the man irresistibly attractive, and although he was always “moody” with his choice of words, I find his comments always- spot on, and he is indeed a very seasoned judge who knows a good apple from the first sight, without getting a bite! And, I’ve always loved Randy too, and Ellen kinda grew on me. But “Adam’s” presence was way too strong, that I could not remember even one finalist’s from last year’s show?

And as we bid farewell, to the “guy” with the nasty “tongue”, we welcomed a singing diva on the panel of judges, together with Steven Tyler! How huge is that! Steven is not Simon, but he is Steven, a living legend. We love him. So, Simon might not be missed, at least not for now.

As the contestants were chosen from this year’s audition, I noticed many sailed through easily, compared to previous seasons. I can’t help to think whether the contestants this year were luckier, or the contestants in the previous seasons were just plain unlucky?

But having said that, Hollywood week saw some great performances for some of the front runners. And we could easily spot early favorites holding the torch!

And when the final 24 were chosen, I strongly believe they were best of the bunch. Will there be an Adam Lambert this year, for me? I really don’t know..

Last night, I patiently sat through the 12 performances from the guys. I am no music expert, but I know my groove. At this stage of the competition, no point trying to figure out who can sing, as that would be like.. ‘duhhhhhhh…”. The whole idea is to stand out! So who nailed the shot?

I need to point it out that; it’s a struggle for me to hear the performances. The music/band was way too loud that it kinda sucked most of the voices in. With Christian & Christi Ann, running all over the place, and my hands fixed on my knitting tools, and with my cats chasing each other, I would have to say, my personal favorites are

James Durbin
Reason: I see Adam in “him”
Points for the night: He nailed the song!
Cons: He screams a lot!




Robbie Rosen aka Aladdin
Reason: He was great during Hollywood week
Points for the night: None
Cons: He could have done better





Scotty Mccreery
Reason: He has “the” voice
Points for the night: He sticks to his genre
Cons: I think he will “shit bricks” if he does other than country

But reality bites, and these were what I heard.
1. Brett Loewenstern
Verdict: Forgettable. I don’t see it yet.
Top Five: Too much hype and media attention since the start, Likely

2. Casey Abrams
Verdict: Stand out. But there’s something about him, almost “arrogance”, I don’t know..
Top Five: Shoot me if he’s not!

3. Clint Jun Gamboa
Verdict: He can sing. But sadly, there were too much drama about him since Hollywood
Top Five: Sang his heart out, but lost on popularity card, Unlikely

4. Jacob Lusk
Verdict: Stand Out. He can probably make music from my history books!
Top Five: Shoot me if he’s not!

5. Jordan Dorsey
Verdict: Wrong song choice
Top Five: Blew his chance, unlikely

6. Jovany Barreto
Verdict: Forgettable
Top Five: Nothing to shout about, Unlikely

7. Paul McDonald
Verdict: Unique voice, and he has a star appeal
Top Five: Likely

8. Stefano Langone
Verdict: Cute but it’s neither here or there
Top Five: Maybe not

9. Tim Halperin
Verdict: Could have done better
Top Five: Maybe not

From the 12 finalists, America will vote for their top five, and the rest will have to try their luck in the wild card session next week.

Who will make it?
My prediction
1. Casey Abrams
2. Jacob Lusk
3. Brett or Paul
4. James Durbin
5. Scotty Mccreery

And since its 100% chosen by the viewers, hard to say what to expect! But AI is known for its drama too, and I think, there will be an “upset” in the results show, pushing a deserved finalist to the wild card session. Will have to wait and see. By the way, Stevie & Jen, what’s with the goody-goody comments, bring back Simon already!

Tonight, it’s the battle of the ladies. Will I be excited, no? Will I tune in, yes? Will I “bitch” about it tomorrow, MAYBE?

Between Fun & Responsibility

Someone was telling me that I ought to just stay in a bottle and close my lid for good, as my life deprived the magic word, spelled as FUN.

Honestly, he has a point, and although I hate admitting it, I won’t be denying it.

It’s probably a direct case of “upbringing”, myself, and the six colors of my rainbows, were not raised on silver spoon, and responsibility was probably the first word we had to memorised! And although, early choices was lacking in our lives, thanks to how we were built, internally, we are in our comfortable places of having a “say” in the many choices ahead of us, now. And as the Lord, continues to bless us with his kindness, and test our weaknesses, I sincerely hope, we will remain strong in our stand of being just who we are and what we are made of.

Having fun, to me is something that is so “foreign”. Its something that I could not experience truly, as I don’t regard it as a necessity in my life. I have got a million things to deal with, and although worries suck up the blood sooner than age, its not something that I could go without. Every single day, I plan. Planning is the key word that has taken the word fun completely out of my dictionary. To me, everything then, was how to become who I am now, and to me at present, is to plan on how to raise my two little angels and how to provide them with the best I could.

If you ask me, would I regret that I treat “fun” like a total stranger and would I look back, with regrets that I’ve never welcome it home, the answer would be a straight no. Sometimes, a decision may not come voluntarily, as it might be the best thing to do in certain scenarios, but as I embraced the role of a daughter, wife and mother, I accepted my fate of letting it go, for good.

No one can have it all, sacrifices are needed to pave way for other things that could be or not be, better, depending on how you see it, weigh it, and relates it to your priority lists. But right now, I am the most content person in the world, with my cup half full, but never half empty!

Chapter from my Form Five History Book : History may speak for itself, but can it spell the future?

I remember the days when I slaved myself for the sake of qualifying the merits, the standards, set by some academician, who may or may not be setting these merits based on the values of education itself, or perhaps according to the mould of the invisible and respective political interests.

And how I fret memorizing -the who, why, what, when & how. And now that I am in my mid 30s, I asked myself, where is the relevance of this? 20 years of my life, figuring out the 5 questions, right now, when I look back, all I could think of is-SO WHAT?

What is education really? And if you graduate from the highest degree with the highest merits, are you educated? And if so, what is the benchmark, could there be one, and should there be one?

Someone so dear, told me once- we are blessed with so many data, look left, look right, look ahead, and look behind, its full of it. Data that could be tangible to the mind, or intangible to the ears. And with a little effort, if we could make something out of these data, finding the zillions possibilities of its relation and correlations, we formed information. And when one, has been informed, we earned knowledge. And once we apply this knowledge with the help of a little experience, it will add on to our wisdom cap. If so, am I wiser now?

Education is to educate, it comes in many forms, in many levels, and through many sources. It teaches the most valuable lesson, its called discipline. Discipline to wait, to know, to learn, to adapt, to apply, to appreciate, it teaches us the values of the past, and it teaches us the lessons for the future. And how much can one apply this, depends entirely on one’s ability to digest, consume and understand its significance, and the success is evaluated based on the movement and reinvention of the mind, the soul, and the self in the social ladder of our so called man made community.

Similarly, what is language? If one speaks the Queen language with zero grammatical error, and perfect composition with a great accent, or is able to speak in the diversity of foreign languages, how would the person score? How many of us, actually sit back, and try to see language as it is, a tool, a mere tool, one of the tools to assist in communication. And what is communication? It is a passing of information/data in any format with the intention to inform. So, if a person speaks well, does it necessarily mean, he or she succeeds in using this tool to transmit what he needs to? And with visual multimedia accessories or high tech gadgets, does that make communication more effective than before? And if yes, who can guarantee the levels of understanding, or rather, how the targeted audience is able to digest the information, and how informed can they be? And lastly, would it make any difference to them? Would it help them? Harm them? Bring added value? Influence them? If none of these transpire, what do you call it? Failure in communication? Redundancies of data and information, lack of human touch to affect the communication?- I call it, ….A WASTE OF TIME!

In my closets, I have attires of all sorts. These were all chosen with the basic understanding of knowing who I am, in & out. It’s the result of my ability to understand, believe and accept my flaws, & my strengths. It doesn’t come in one day; it comes with years of experience and that final step, call- accepting,… accepting with courage. And it takes knowledge to decide which attire suits me most for different events. It’s a choice, like how everything is. And like how everything is, it’s a choice that will define who you are and sadly, what you are made of.

Today, I questioned myself, of how I truly understand the significance of May 13th, August 31st, or even, when some stranger called Parameswara sat on a tree, by the name of Malacca. And how I truly appreciate those who were involved in bringing the peace “home”, after each World War. And as I completely embrace the fact that history needs no justification, and how truly it can speak for itself, I am disappointed, how education, and the tools of communication may have failed to reach out, readjusted certain facts, or even misunderstood certain events, that would again, penalize the significance of history and its value, in the minds of the present and the future. And if history no longer spells the truth, would it become a true myth? Will the survival of the human race soon becomes the joke of a mere published literature?

Walk With Me...

I am reminiscing right now, the times when I was in my old office, and how perhaps, I have taken granted of my life there, the faces there, the stories there….I missed being apart of that, apart of a bigger group, a bigger organization… a bigger Family.

It’s odd that although I am no longer sitting there, the sense of familiarity is so overwhelming, that each return brings back lots of memories, and lots of emotion. Someone just told me, I am like a rainbow that they missed. Am I? :)

These are the faces who decorated my professional life for the last 9 years, and pretty much, have grown into a big part of me. These are the people that I cared for, and will always do. I may be foolish, as I may not be seen the way I wanted to, but this is not a trade, and I don’t need an affirmation. When I give, it’s with all that I have, and I treasure & nurture each one of these relationships, amidst all kinds of weather, in good and in bad, for both the journey and the destination.

If I could paint, I would paint a picture of these faces, in all kinds of colours. And what I hope is to bring a blend of harmony in them, and with it, the strength would penetrate deeply into the soul of the painting. It would be a remarkable gift. I am no Picasso, but if I could, God knows, I would. But again, wouldn’t that be dull? When something is so blended together, almost like the americanised melting pot, won’t that erase personalities, and create a kingdom where there could be no creativity, no excitement and no new discovery? And what is left to life, when these elements are absent? It would be plain, just a plain and a dull journey. Even thinking about it brings unexplainable pain to the mind, how can one live life where everything becomes so predictable, where every part of the world, is in the same colour, and people exist in uniformity of all senses.

Having said that, to what extent can we tolerate a person’s weakness and accept it as a common psychology impurity that is crucial to the overall development of one’s mind & soul? Interestingly, no one can work on perfection, as there is no room for improvement, and therefore, making every weakness, a desired opportunity, an important value to bring our steps higher if not better. But what if no one realizes this potential, and excuse it as a mere disorder of the mind?

It’s interesting that people are afraid of getting a fever. I, for one, freaks out whensoever , my two little angels caught the flu bug, tell me about it.. I’ve got like bottles of medicine, sitting at home, from fever to cough mixture, and from antibiotics to all kinds of allergy remedies. Then I thought, how many among us, realize it that, fever is a natural reaction towards an infection. It’s the way our body tells us that we are in biological danger and it’s the way, our body is telling us, to step up and do something about it! And if so, can every weakness be labeled the same? One may wonder?

This ship has since sailed on, moving towards a different journey and heading on another destination. And although, the trip looks promising and predictable, how can we say, it is when we hardly know, what’s in store for us tomorrow.

2011, will you be kinder to us?

Is your SPF 15 good enough?

My blog is once again, open to public :). It’s tough to add in email addresses each time, there’s a request to read the blog. I have however, reedited some of my earlier posts, due to privacy issues. Don’t get me wrong, I am indeed all transparent, but certain things are indeed left better unsaid but done. After all, action does speak louder and probably in most cases, better than words, isn’t it?

I have recently celebrated my sixth marriage anniversary with the only man in my life, with two of our love child and two people who witness 17 years of our love journey, my parents. It was all sweet and bitter, a bit like dark chocolate, and I couldn’t help reflecting on our journey so far, with the things that we went through, and where we are today. We had a bumpy ride, sometimes, passing by a smooth straight road, before, getting caught in a dangerous junction. We had all that, I wished certain things worked out in a better way, but I guess, one can’t have it all. Having said that, our love matures along, as we continue on, and I know, I would not have wanted to continue this walk, had it not be with him. And although, he is a person with very little words, I know he feels the same way.

I have been “somewhat” troubled lately, as I try to reassess my judgements over some issues at work, and some people there, who are very dear to me. I have never felt so caught in the middle, as I do now, and although I try my best, to think objectively, apart of me is struggling to look for answers, confused with the series of events that took place. And when it comes to situations like these, where nothing can be helped, I decided to keep my distance, at least, until I sort out my own “say” in this, without any sense of prejudice, bias, and certainly, favoritism. There has to be a reasonable explanation to this, and although I am no scientist, I am determined to discover what it is, very soon, before I lose myself in this whole tangle of mess.

At times like these, I thought of someone, who took all the trouble to tell me .. about the sunscreen song. He is an incredible doctor friend of ours, and a special one too. I would not have walked the path of motherhood, had it not been for him.

I am sharing it here, the lyrics of the Suncreen Song, hoping that along the way, as much as I remind myself, how true these lyrics are, you guys, my faithful readers will benefit from it, as well.

I do have one comment though; SPF 15 may really not be good enough for you!



Baz Luhrmann Lyrics - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

Walking Down the Memory Lane

I have been thinking a lot about my school days lately, how it was and trying to remember the things I did, the friends and “puppy love crushes” that I had, and those who are still in contact with me. It felt just like yesterday that I attended my own graduation, and how it was also probably the last time, I gathered with some of these precious friends of mine. Today, we are scattered all over the place, with careers in our hands, responsibilities on our shoulders, most of us are proud parents, and most of us share a similarity, which is little memories of the past, unfortunately challenged by the passing of time.

Today, we have things like mobile phones, the internet, emails .. to keep in touch, unfortunately, we have nothing to keep these memories alive, apart from our own abilities to store all these precious moments, with the help of photos, videos.. and other written mementos. We have social network sites like Face book, friendsters and myspace to re-connect and reestablished contacts with people of whom we thought we’ll never meet again.. our long lost friends.. and perhaps making some new friends too. Therefore, making the whole process of restoring friendships and memories, much easier and simpler than before.

If you ask me, I can’t remember much of my primary school days, except that, I was a lonely soul. A few names were carved permanently; these are the friends who stood with me, all the way to my high school years. There were Bani, Nas & Mis. And the list adds on, when I started high school, with some great friends like Seit Loong, Smeeta, Eng Eng, Manjit, Pun, Sandra, Marie…., Pat… and many more. Most of these friends are in my FB contacts, and the rest, are still out there, .. but am sure, our paths will cross again.

And when I was in Uni, I met up with a few more,. ..but among all of these friends of mine, I was more drawn to a friend name Pyan.. .. he was probably one of the kindest people I’ve ever known, and is truly blessed to have him as a close friend. What made it even more meaningful to me is that, despite all the peer pressures around campus, he could still walk with me, talk to me, and be with me, rains or shines. Today, this special friend of mine is a successful police inspector, a loving husband, and a proud father of two beautiful children. I just wanna say.. if I’ve never said this.. Pyan.. thank you for being there for me, and thank you for being such a special friend of mine…..

Time flies.. it really does… I used to feel that .. time stands still when I was in school. I dread waking up early and force myself to classes, although I didn’t mine doing something similar during my uni days. And apart from the friends who added colours to my academic life all these years, I must say, I have met some great intellects along the way, who taught me, not just academically.. but in many aspects of life as well. Mr. Fuad, Dr. Suriani, Ms Dzurizah, Mr. Bala, Mr. Hasannal…..list goes on, .. they were all there, all those years.. and I am indeed very grateful of that.

My special appreciation to two great souls that I know, Fuad & Hassanal. I don’t even have to say it here, cause you both know why you are indeed special to me, and I am sure to million others.

And although this chapter of my life is now temporarily closed, I believe there will be a time, that I will go back to the academic world.. My little playground.., and hopefully, I will still have these great mentors to guide me as I share the bits and pieces of what I have learnt and am still learning, in the real world of the corporate life..

Have You?

Being in my thirties now, I would often look at the journey I have gone through so far, reflecting on the mistakes I’ve made, the little accomplishments I have achieved, and all the faces I’ve met along the way. Sometimes, I wonder if I would have lived my life in a different way, had I been given the chance to go back, and start all over. Would I have chosen a similar path, would my priority list remain the same, and would I be where I am today and who I am today?

Have you ever wonder, one may ask, how different life would be, if we were to look at it from a different view? And when we feel that the grass is always greener on the other side, one may ask, is it …really? And what if …one thought it is, and makes all the efforts to be on the “so called” greener field, only to find your expectations are not what it is. Often than not, the grass is never greener.. it’s our vision that is playing jokes on us, .. and it’s our expectation that poisons our perceptions and judgements.

As I become older, I sometimes, tend to be over critical on things that may appear to be important on the surface, but may not be that important at all. And when I tell myself to count my blessings and appreciate what is given, being thankful, my mind could still be on a wrong track, thinking about the… greener field. Knowing my flaws, and acknowledging that I am only human, I let it go, as quickly as how I became mesmerized with the concept of a greener field. After all, isn’t admission, needed…. for self-assertion & realization?

And as I continue this journey, I become obsess with the value of time, and the true meaning of opportunity. Similarity between the two, it won’t repeat itself.. and when it’s gone, its forever missed. And although, time is on our side, how would one know, the games of fate, and as opportunities are all over.. how would one know, where they truly are, if we don’t seek to find.. but keep seeking to be understood? And how can we keep asking to be understood, when we are not even making any efforts to understand how others are?

God is good. He has been patient with all of us, He gives, He leads.. He shelters… and what have we done, to repay Him?

Similarly, we often ask others, what have you done for us, what could you do for us, without giving a deeper thought on what could we do for others first?

Today, have you given thought of the hands that raised you?
Have you said thank you to the love that surrounds you?

Have you thought of others who are more unfortunate than you?
And have you lived your life, to appreciate what that’s been given to you?

Superficial.. what is and what's not?

It’s odd how we are made, a million cells collaborated into a complete frame, yet missing a soul. Then we reach out, looking for every reason to appreciate this gift, and transform this frame into a master piece. We look all over, all kinds & sometimes a bit too far, not understanding where the true contentment lies..

Today, I would like to pay tribute to an amazing soul, a humble man, a loving husband, a caring father.. the list goes on. He is the Man of God, not perfect perhaps, but is gifted in so many ways. I remember the day, this crazy thing calls “fate” crosses our path, and almost naturally, I was glued to this new friendship, because its so genuine.. It’s so sincere, it became so… addictive..

When I first saw him, he has this beautiful and unexplainable calmness. High in spirits, charismatic, yet there was this little bit of vulnerability, shown through his eyes. I sensed, just like my master piece, he has gone through a lot of pain, to bring him to where he is today. I embraced that deeply, hoping and praying that as the days pass, Lord will allow this pain to be erased, and only leave him, with nothing but sweet memories.

As years passed, I see how he struggles, how hard he tried.. and how difficult it was to deal with so many faces of the Lord. I think to myself, and as I pray for him, give him mercy,.. make it less harder if not easier.. and for the Lord to lift his spirits up, when he is down, to shed him light, when darkness comes… and for his love ones, to be with him, to support him, and to understood him…

I am no angel, sometimes, it’s difficult not to be bias.., its difficult to understand, and let alone comprehend that people are different, and therefore, are expected to act differently. We have expectations, yet sometimes… before it could influence others, it troubles us the most… but life is full of those that is superficial… and those that are not.., and there’s a fine thin line between the two…that could cause a little if not .. lots of confusion. But that’s the beauty of life.. an art of complexity…. , and it’s up to us to fill that frame.. to build our own master pieces.

Today, this wonderful man, is at the peak of his prime, challenged with so much more.. unpredictable yet those that are superficial .. yet without a tainted faith. When I see him now, my heart aches… but I know deep down inside.. he will go through all this, cause he is not just a survivor..he is a fighter.. and a damn good one!

Bro.. if you are reading this.. bear in mind always, that there are many incomplete masterpieces in the world, and the journey to complete it.. is what that counts the most.. and along the way.. we meet up with the superficials.. and those that are not.. all waiting to add colours.. and probably greases to the master frame.. .. that’s just the beauty of it.... where there’s a wonderful scent.. but also .. the painful thorns..

But I never worry.. cause I know.. deep down.. you know where you are and who you are.. and because of who you are, you are given this wonderful gift of challenge.. where I know, and believe, you will not just sail through them.. but will pass… with flying colours !

And when you feel the lowest, look around you.. the greens are with you…. The blue is crying for you.. but will shelter you.. and the love and care that surrounds you …will always be there for you…..

God Bless you bro!

Park Yong Ha?

Its been a while since I last wrote on this blog, lots happened since then.. don't even know where to start...

I must say it here that I have just been recently blessed with a second baby. A princess.. and we call her after her brother's name.. Christi Ann. Pregnancy was not smooth sailing, although it was much and much better than the time when I had Christian. Having said that, both pregnancies were magical to me.. and parenthood has been nothing but a great blessing...

My son, will be four years old this August, and Christi Ann, will be four months old tomorrow. How fast time flies, when you least expected it..

I've been emotionally drenched lately..getting old & sentimental.. perhaps...:)

Recently, I have just moved office, parted off with some good friends... familiar faces that I have been seeing for the last 8 1/2 years of my career life. I am now, at a new place.. although, not in the beginning of a new career..but it does feel like a different place... Having said that, I am beginning to appreciate the gift of space & peace.. and like what a dear friend told me recently.. you might be alone..but you will never be lonely...:)

A series of event took place that kept me ...thinking.. My thinking hat has been on.. for days.. giving me more wrinkles on the forehead ....unavoidable...:( But these were touching events..something... I could not make myself forget.. and make myself .. let go.....

Someone I knew recently passed away tragically, leaving behind .. a young son. A young son, who never knew who his own father was and who knew only his mother.. who is.. his world... who is.. his all. She was not a stranger.. yet.. she was not a friend... she was just someone.. I got to know... through work... and the day.. that I had a chance to bond with her.. was the last day of her life.. When I learnt about the news.. I was in shock.. .. I didn't know how to respond..

Few days later.. I learnt that a new colleague of mine had to rush home... her little home.. far far away in a distant land..her father had just passed away. I was told that he was an amazing man, who struggled through hardships to raised four of his young children after the demised of his other half at the young tender age of 30. He never remarried... ... I didn't know how to respond...

And a few days ago, I learnt that an acquintance... someone who is not a friend.. nor a stranger... is paralysed due to a recent fall. She has 3 young children.. and a husband who is 8 years younger... her physical pain was probably not as great, compares to her emotional insecurity.. I felt for her.. .. yet.. I didn't know ... how to respond...

And yesterday, I heard about Park Yong Ha. He was that charming.. second lead man, in Winter Sonota.. and was the main lead in this year's KBS drama Story of a Man. He is a talented singer and actor... who was believed to have taken his own life due to depression and his 14 years of battle with insomnia.... .. I was in shock... unable to respond...

There are people out there.. who struggles to live..struggles to make a living..and struggles to stay on with their loved ones...if we only look far enough... think.. deep enough... and listen.. to the sounds apart from our own heartbeats and murmurs... we will see .. how blessed we are..being where we are.. and being who we are..

Today.. I know how to respond...

Lord.. thank you for standing by me.. with me.. and behind me...

When I'm thirsty.. you gave me rain..

When I'm hungry.. you gave me the whole universe..

and..When I'm lonely.. you gave me hope

Thank you for all the blessings.. to me, my family..and my love ones..

Life is not complicated.. never will be.., if we learn to appreciate the half full...

instead of the half empty...

PYH... may you rest in peace...

TIRED!

KK New Terminal ( Airport)

You have no idea how many times Christian walk on this...

SMC

Children Playground near the Pool at Magellan Sutera

Dinner at Little Italy