Is your SPF 15 good enough?

My blog is once again, open to public :). It’s tough to add in email addresses each time, there’s a request to read the blog. I have however, reedited some of my earlier posts, due to privacy issues. Don’t get me wrong, I am indeed all transparent, but certain things are indeed left better unsaid but done. After all, action does speak louder and probably in most cases, better than words, isn’t it?

I have recently celebrated my sixth marriage anniversary with the only man in my life, with two of our love child and two people who witness 17 years of our love journey, my parents. It was all sweet and bitter, a bit like dark chocolate, and I couldn’t help reflecting on our journey so far, with the things that we went through, and where we are today. We had a bumpy ride, sometimes, passing by a smooth straight road, before, getting caught in a dangerous junction. We had all that, I wished certain things worked out in a better way, but I guess, one can’t have it all. Having said that, our love matures along, as we continue on, and I know, I would not have wanted to continue this walk, had it not be with him. And although, he is a person with very little words, I know he feels the same way.

I have been “somewhat” troubled lately, as I try to reassess my judgements over some issues at work, and some people there, who are very dear to me. I have never felt so caught in the middle, as I do now, and although I try my best, to think objectively, apart of me is struggling to look for answers, confused with the series of events that took place. And when it comes to situations like these, where nothing can be helped, I decided to keep my distance, at least, until I sort out my own “say” in this, without any sense of prejudice, bias, and certainly, favoritism. There has to be a reasonable explanation to this, and although I am no scientist, I am determined to discover what it is, very soon, before I lose myself in this whole tangle of mess.

At times like these, I thought of someone, who took all the trouble to tell me .. about the sunscreen song. He is an incredible doctor friend of ours, and a special one too. I would not have walked the path of motherhood, had it not been for him.

I am sharing it here, the lyrics of the Suncreen Song, hoping that along the way, as much as I remind myself, how true these lyrics are, you guys, my faithful readers will benefit from it, as well.

I do have one comment though; SPF 15 may really not be good enough for you!



Baz Luhrmann Lyrics - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

Walking Down the Memory Lane

I have been thinking a lot about my school days lately, how it was and trying to remember the things I did, the friends and “puppy love crushes” that I had, and those who are still in contact with me. It felt just like yesterday that I attended my own graduation, and how it was also probably the last time, I gathered with some of these precious friends of mine. Today, we are scattered all over the place, with careers in our hands, responsibilities on our shoulders, most of us are proud parents, and most of us share a similarity, which is little memories of the past, unfortunately challenged by the passing of time.

Today, we have things like mobile phones, the internet, emails .. to keep in touch, unfortunately, we have nothing to keep these memories alive, apart from our own abilities to store all these precious moments, with the help of photos, videos.. and other written mementos. We have social network sites like Face book, friendsters and myspace to re-connect and reestablished contacts with people of whom we thought we’ll never meet again.. our long lost friends.. and perhaps making some new friends too. Therefore, making the whole process of restoring friendships and memories, much easier and simpler than before.

If you ask me, I can’t remember much of my primary school days, except that, I was a lonely soul. A few names were carved permanently; these are the friends who stood with me, all the way to my high school years. There were Bani, Nas & Mis. And the list adds on, when I started high school, with some great friends like Seit Loong, Smeeta, Eng Eng, Manjit, Pun, Sandra, Marie…., Pat… and many more. Most of these friends are in my FB contacts, and the rest, are still out there, .. but am sure, our paths will cross again.

And when I was in Uni, I met up with a few more,. ..but among all of these friends of mine, I was more drawn to a friend name Pyan.. .. he was probably one of the kindest people I’ve ever known, and is truly blessed to have him as a close friend. What made it even more meaningful to me is that, despite all the peer pressures around campus, he could still walk with me, talk to me, and be with me, rains or shines. Today, this special friend of mine is a successful police inspector, a loving husband, and a proud father of two beautiful children. I just wanna say.. if I’ve never said this.. Pyan.. thank you for being there for me, and thank you for being such a special friend of mine…..

Time flies.. it really does… I used to feel that .. time stands still when I was in school. I dread waking up early and force myself to classes, although I didn’t mine doing something similar during my uni days. And apart from the friends who added colours to my academic life all these years, I must say, I have met some great intellects along the way, who taught me, not just academically.. but in many aspects of life as well. Mr. Fuad, Dr. Suriani, Ms Dzurizah, Mr. Bala, Mr. Hasannal…..list goes on, .. they were all there, all those years.. and I am indeed very grateful of that.

My special appreciation to two great souls that I know, Fuad & Hassanal. I don’t even have to say it here, cause you both know why you are indeed special to me, and I am sure to million others.

And although this chapter of my life is now temporarily closed, I believe there will be a time, that I will go back to the academic world.. My little playground.., and hopefully, I will still have these great mentors to guide me as I share the bits and pieces of what I have learnt and am still learning, in the real world of the corporate life..

Have You?

Being in my thirties now, I would often look at the journey I have gone through so far, reflecting on the mistakes I’ve made, the little accomplishments I have achieved, and all the faces I’ve met along the way. Sometimes, I wonder if I would have lived my life in a different way, had I been given the chance to go back, and start all over. Would I have chosen a similar path, would my priority list remain the same, and would I be where I am today and who I am today?

Have you ever wonder, one may ask, how different life would be, if we were to look at it from a different view? And when we feel that the grass is always greener on the other side, one may ask, is it …really? And what if …one thought it is, and makes all the efforts to be on the “so called” greener field, only to find your expectations are not what it is. Often than not, the grass is never greener.. it’s our vision that is playing jokes on us, .. and it’s our expectation that poisons our perceptions and judgements.

As I become older, I sometimes, tend to be over critical on things that may appear to be important on the surface, but may not be that important at all. And when I tell myself to count my blessings and appreciate what is given, being thankful, my mind could still be on a wrong track, thinking about the… greener field. Knowing my flaws, and acknowledging that I am only human, I let it go, as quickly as how I became mesmerized with the concept of a greener field. After all, isn’t admission, needed…. for self-assertion & realization?

And as I continue this journey, I become obsess with the value of time, and the true meaning of opportunity. Similarity between the two, it won’t repeat itself.. and when it’s gone, its forever missed. And although, time is on our side, how would one know, the games of fate, and as opportunities are all over.. how would one know, where they truly are, if we don’t seek to find.. but keep seeking to be understood? And how can we keep asking to be understood, when we are not even making any efforts to understand how others are?

God is good. He has been patient with all of us, He gives, He leads.. He shelters… and what have we done, to repay Him?

Similarly, we often ask others, what have you done for us, what could you do for us, without giving a deeper thought on what could we do for others first?

Today, have you given thought of the hands that raised you?
Have you said thank you to the love that surrounds you?

Have you thought of others who are more unfortunate than you?
And have you lived your life, to appreciate what that’s been given to you?

Superficial.. what is and what's not?

It’s odd how we are made, a million cells collaborated into a complete frame, yet missing a soul. Then we reach out, looking for every reason to appreciate this gift, and transform this frame into a master piece. We look all over, all kinds & sometimes a bit too far, not understanding where the true contentment lies..

Today, I would like to pay tribute to an amazing soul, a humble man, a loving husband, a caring father.. the list goes on. He is the Man of God, not perfect perhaps, but is gifted in so many ways. I remember the day, this crazy thing calls “fate” crosses our path, and almost naturally, I was glued to this new friendship, because its so genuine.. It’s so sincere, it became so… addictive..

When I first saw him, he has this beautiful and unexplainable calmness. High in spirits, charismatic, yet there was this little bit of vulnerability, shown through his eyes. I sensed, just like my master piece, he has gone through a lot of pain, to bring him to where he is today. I embraced that deeply, hoping and praying that as the days pass, Lord will allow this pain to be erased, and only leave him, with nothing but sweet memories.

As years passed, I see how he struggles, how hard he tried.. and how difficult it was to deal with so many faces of the Lord. I think to myself, and as I pray for him, give him mercy,.. make it less harder if not easier.. and for the Lord to lift his spirits up, when he is down, to shed him light, when darkness comes… and for his love ones, to be with him, to support him, and to understood him…

I am no angel, sometimes, it’s difficult not to be bias.., its difficult to understand, and let alone comprehend that people are different, and therefore, are expected to act differently. We have expectations, yet sometimes… before it could influence others, it troubles us the most… but life is full of those that is superficial… and those that are not.., and there’s a fine thin line between the two…that could cause a little if not .. lots of confusion. But that’s the beauty of life.. an art of complexity…. , and it’s up to us to fill that frame.. to build our own master pieces.

Today, this wonderful man, is at the peak of his prime, challenged with so much more.. unpredictable yet those that are superficial .. yet without a tainted faith. When I see him now, my heart aches… but I know deep down inside.. he will go through all this, cause he is not just a survivor..he is a fighter.. and a damn good one!

Bro.. if you are reading this.. bear in mind always, that there are many incomplete masterpieces in the world, and the journey to complete it.. is what that counts the most.. and along the way.. we meet up with the superficials.. and those that are not.. all waiting to add colours.. and probably greases to the master frame.. .. that’s just the beauty of it.... where there’s a wonderful scent.. but also .. the painful thorns..

But I never worry.. cause I know.. deep down.. you know where you are and who you are.. and because of who you are, you are given this wonderful gift of challenge.. where I know, and believe, you will not just sail through them.. but will pass… with flying colours !

And when you feel the lowest, look around you.. the greens are with you…. The blue is crying for you.. but will shelter you.. and the love and care that surrounds you …will always be there for you…..

God Bless you bro!

Park Yong Ha?

Its been a while since I last wrote on this blog, lots happened since then.. don't even know where to start...

I must say it here that I have just been recently blessed with a second baby. A princess.. and we call her after her brother's name.. Christi Ann. Pregnancy was not smooth sailing, although it was much and much better than the time when I had Christian. Having said that, both pregnancies were magical to me.. and parenthood has been nothing but a great blessing...

My son, will be four years old this August, and Christi Ann, will be four months old tomorrow. How fast time flies, when you least expected it..

I've been emotionally drenched lately..getting old & sentimental.. perhaps...:)

Recently, I have just moved office, parted off with some good friends... familiar faces that I have been seeing for the last 8 1/2 years of my career life. I am now, at a new place.. although, not in the beginning of a new career..but it does feel like a different place... Having said that, I am beginning to appreciate the gift of space & peace.. and like what a dear friend told me recently.. you might be alone..but you will never be lonely...:)

A series of event took place that kept me ...thinking.. My thinking hat has been on.. for days.. giving me more wrinkles on the forehead ....unavoidable...:( But these were touching events..something... I could not make myself forget.. and make myself .. let go.....

Someone I knew recently passed away tragically, leaving behind .. a young son. A young son, who never knew who his own father was and who knew only his mother.. who is.. his world... who is.. his all. She was not a stranger.. yet.. she was not a friend... she was just someone.. I got to know... through work... and the day.. that I had a chance to bond with her.. was the last day of her life.. When I learnt about the news.. I was in shock.. .. I didn't know how to respond..

Few days later.. I learnt that a new colleague of mine had to rush home... her little home.. far far away in a distant land..her father had just passed away. I was told that he was an amazing man, who struggled through hardships to raised four of his young children after the demised of his other half at the young tender age of 30. He never remarried... ... I didn't know how to respond...

And a few days ago, I learnt that an acquintance... someone who is not a friend.. nor a stranger... is paralysed due to a recent fall. She has 3 young children.. and a husband who is 8 years younger... her physical pain was probably not as great, compares to her emotional insecurity.. I felt for her.. .. yet.. I didn't know ... how to respond...

And yesterday, I heard about Park Yong Ha. He was that charming.. second lead man, in Winter Sonota.. and was the main lead in this year's KBS drama Story of a Man. He is a talented singer and actor... who was believed to have taken his own life due to depression and his 14 years of battle with insomnia.... .. I was in shock... unable to respond...

There are people out there.. who struggles to live..struggles to make a living..and struggles to stay on with their loved ones...if we only look far enough... think.. deep enough... and listen.. to the sounds apart from our own heartbeats and murmurs... we will see .. how blessed we are..being where we are.. and being who we are..

Today.. I know how to respond...

Lord.. thank you for standing by me.. with me.. and behind me...

When I'm thirsty.. you gave me rain..

When I'm hungry.. you gave me the whole universe..

and..When I'm lonely.. you gave me hope

Thank you for all the blessings.. to me, my family..and my love ones..

Life is not complicated.. never will be.., if we learn to appreciate the half full...

instead of the half empty...

PYH... may you rest in peace...