I’m a little bit sentimental lately, thinking about life and how that I’ve gone through my last 30 years alone and together with my loved ones.
Since childhood, I’ve been a lonely child. Probably overshadowed by my elder siblings, I was rather shy to make friends and when I found a few, I became somewhat possessive and this I believed went on until I entered university. Not healthy, I know. But I guess, when a person went through what I did while growing up, it was only natural to feel this way. However, it was also due to this, some of the friendships that I have built throughout the years shattered. Probably I have high expectations, and even though I know people change as time passes by, deep down in me I was hoping none of my loved ones would ever change. Everything should remain the same, and when reality bites me, it hurts more than I could tell.
When I met my other half, I changed too. I no longer craved for friendships elsewhere, as I found it all in him. Probably a big mistake as it was not easy to rely on just one person for companionship, friendship, and other source of emotional support. But I wanted it to be that way, and I had to pay the price. It was years of cats and dogs arguments that I had to go through with him, as he needed space to grow, and I was tailing him all the while. I thought someone would be overwhelmed by such devotion, but I guess, it is true that man actually came from Mars, while I traveled from Venus. After 13 years, I probably grew smarter, but I still long for real and true friendships, those that you can see from movies, where two friends can just hang out and be “one”. Probably this is the reason why “Romy & Michelle High School Reunion” will always be my favorite movie. I would die for a bond like Romy & Michelle, something that was missing in my life.
Today, being 30, I am married, blessed with a son, and have a job. My husband, my best friend and my other half, is a year older and most of his time is spent on building his business, while most of mine is spent at home with my baby, parents, and my precious ones. And at this age, if I’m “Romy”, I still could not find my “Michelle”, but it does not really matter to me now. I learned that I could lived without such bond, and I am thankful enough to have build different kind of friendships with some of my workmates, different kind of bond as maturity paved its way through my life.
People do come with many faces and all walks of life. Its God’s blessing that I found some even though we are miles apart. This is one of the reasons, why I should probably pay tribute to “Alexander Graham Bell” (was he the creator of phones or something?). Among all these distanced treasures, one especially dear to me is Lili. Our friendship took off like roller coaster, she’s lovely and sweet and really nice. Its unfortunate that we lived miles apart, otherwise our friendships would take off straight to space. Then, I came to know her other friends, Yoke Kian, Irene… Michelle.., and I thought to myself, probably this should be a reason why I need relocate and move away from this town where I could never find a Michelle….or perhaps, there will never be a Michelle for this Romy. But at 30 years of age, do I really care as much ?
Today I may not be blessed with a Michelle, but I know I am blessed with others who are just as good as a Michelle. And as I walk through this life, being a daughter, sister, wife and now a mother, I learned that certain things may seem important on the surface, but may not be that important after all.
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